Jai Guru Deva Om

Sometimes we get messages in the form of synchronicity. Sometimes they come in our dreams. Sometimes they come from those around us. Sometimes we witness them in books, or movies. Sometimes they are found in a feather upon the ground at our feet, a penny in the street, a goose in the sky, a red cardinal perched on the branch of a snowy tree.
Sometimes they are words we hear spoken in our heads, or visions in our periphery, or a feeling in the pit of our stomach, or a knowing in our soul.
Sometimes they are a sudden awareness that overtakes us – that grabs our very BEING – and pours an Awareness right into us.
Sometimes we get messages in an avalanche of all of the above.
If this hasn’t happened to you yet, believe me when I say that this is the kind of message you can’t ignore.
You can only nod through your tears, and surrender, in Gratitude…

All our lives are a series of Experiences.
These Experiences flow, one into the next, seemingly seamlessly,
regardless of how deep or shallow, how turbulent or placid, how rocky or smooth.
This is LIFE…the sum of All.

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,

Some of these Experiences are smooth and placid.
Some of these Experiences are turbulent and rocky.
Some of these Experiences feel Joyful and pleasing and Happy and safe and delightful.
Some of these Experiences feel Miserable and awful and Sad and scary and painful.

They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe

Now, from the beginning – from our very physiology, it seems –
we are taught to retract from our pain.
It’s a reflex. It’s how we’re made. It’s an anatomical, neurological safe-guard.

Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind,

We are led to believe that our instinctive pull-back keeps us safe.
When the stimulus in question is a hot stove, this is surely True.
We are also taught to pull forth inference, to trust the data…
even though we also know that correlation does not equal causation…

Jai Guru Deva Om

…and still, we extrapolate this retraction and pulling-back data,
applying it to the emotionally painful situations we almost-Experience.
We FEEL pain, and we retract. We sense that we MAY feel pain, and we pull back.

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

We seek to protect ourSelves from what we perceive to be emotional pain by retracting.
We seek to protect ourSelves from what we perceive to be emotional pain by pulling back.

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

This is not protection.
This is fear…conditioned fear.
This is our Pavlov’s bell chosen response to our Experiences.
This is the shock collar WillFull denial OF our Experiences.

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

The perceived pain – whatever it might be – is the stimulus.
This exists OUTSIDE of ourSelves.
The retraction, the pulling back – this reaction is a CHOICE.
This exists only INSIDE of ourSelves.

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

We choose to shy away from what we expect to be emotional pain…
We choose to retreat from what we are Experiencing as emotional pain…
and in that choice…in our WillFull opting out…in our decision NOT to feel the pain
we create a denial, a fixed point of imposed Will in the flow of Experience.

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

This is our Choice.
This is always our Choice.

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,

But just as the anticipation of a hard or painful or challenging thing is ever so much worse than the actual thing itself, in choosing to deny our Experience OF pain, we create a feedback loop in the Flow of the Experience…
This is the place to which we return, over and over…

That call me on and on across the universe,

We can’t remember our pain – that, too, is a physiological fact.
We don’t return TO our pain, we return to our memory of it…
…we return to that self-created feedback loop in the Flow of Experience.

Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box, they

When we choose to deny our full Experience of emotional pain, we choose to step into that whirlpool that is the memory of our denial of our pain…
This vortex that overtakes us is deeper than any agonal abyss, wider than any lonely echo, sharper than any brutal betrayal…
this chasm is full of what it might have been, how it may have felt, why it came, how it came, the events leading up, the shock, the disbelief, the crushing blows, the crumblings, the quivering, the wracking spasms, the shattering, the flood of tears, the aching loneliness, the sobbing confusion, the bleeding fingernails from clutching onto the last knot in the end of a very long, frayed rope holding us over a pit of jagged, acidic, razor-sharp points that seek to imbed, to wound, to puncture, to bruise, to harm, to impale, to
hurt.
To hurt.

Tumble blindly as they make their way

We choose to deny our own pain and we hurt ourSelves…
in ways far more intimate and visceral than the stimulus itself ever could have.
We choose to deny our own pain and we cast ourSelves adrift in the whirlpool…
and as we tumble head-over-heels in the currents and undertows of our own creation,
we hold the memory not of the pain, but of the denial.

across the universe.

We cling desperately and scramble frantically to keep our grip, to keep our head above the surface.
This doesn’t work.
A stroll through your own personal history will validate this.
This doesn’t work.

Jai Guru Deva Om

What if, instead of a fear-based desperate retraction, we dove into the depths?
What if, instead of a frantic pulling-back, we surrendered…?
What if we gave ourSelves to the Experience?
What if we surrendered to the Experience of our pain?
What if we allowed the whirlpool to spin us without resistance until we bottomed out or washed up or got spit out?
What if we kept our focus within the pain?

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

What if we are not as fearful of the pain as we are of the unKnowingness of what lies on the other side of it?

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

What if we chose to trust that the pain WAS the Experience?
What if we chose to have faith that even if the pain changed us, we would still BE?
What if we chose to believe that the vortex was a portal to the Next Experience?

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

What if we chose to believe that our reflexive retraction is a learned behavior?
What if we understood that a feedback loop only works when there is feedback?
What if we decided that our pulling-back was as outdated and useless as our appendix?

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

What if we, instead, opted in to our full spectrum of Experience?
What might we learn about the peaks if we stop opting out during the troughs?

Sounds of laughter shades of earth are ringing

This 3D life is our playground, our schoolhouse.
Denial of any part of the Experience cheats yourSelf.

through my open views inciting and inviting me

We aren’t here to live a pain-free life.
Pain is a condition of life.
Pain comes; pain goes.
Only the memory remains.
Suffering, though…suffering IS a choice.
Suffering is the result of resistance.
Suffering is a creation, a repeated choosing, an attachment, a learned condition.

limitless undying love which shines around me like a 

Ask yourSelf where you are in resistance to your pain.
Ask yourSelf where you are in denial of your pain.
Ask yourSelf where you are opting out.
Ask yourSelf where you are pulling back.
Ask yourSelf where you are retracting.

million suns, it calls me on and on

Perhaps, choose to lean in.
Embrace the risk, in Awareness.
Accept the consequences, in advance.
Trust the outcome.

across the universe.

Trust What’s On The Other Side.

Jai Guru Deva Om

Welcome the Lesson that IS the Experience, in all its fullness.

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

Without the fullness, there can be no security, no safety.

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

Know yourSelf as safe, and surrender.

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

In this surrender is Freedom.

Nothing’s gonna change my world.

In this surrender, you claim your Freedom.

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